i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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