More tranny stories later!
You're so nebulous sometimes
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
