So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
