Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
