i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
