Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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