hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
