Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
