i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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