there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
