i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
