I seem to have left my pride at pride
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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