Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Randomize
