i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
