She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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