Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
