He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize