There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
