so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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