..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
