Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
