she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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