I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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