just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
someone owes me an orgasm
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Im part way to drunk.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
