Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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