So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I will pee on everything he values.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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