i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize