yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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