went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
