So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize