We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
