just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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