I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
