Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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