True but thats because hes a fetus.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I wish there were birth control emojis
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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