Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
