I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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