I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
