Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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