How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
