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ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
