I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
