umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
