Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The struggles of a small town man whore
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
