And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Barsexuality is the new black.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
