I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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