SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
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