Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
