I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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