you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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