you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize