you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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