yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
