sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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