there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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