I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
