therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
