he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
