Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
