weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
