Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
