I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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