I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
