the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
