I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
