He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
