If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
