I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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