Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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