is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
