I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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