the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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