HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize