You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
