fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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