Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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