I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Liz is crying about burritos again.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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